Jerry Fenter

Did I just imagine it or has Revlon come out with a new line of lipstick called…get ready for it…Just Bitten?  Vampires seem to be everywhere these days, golden shiny ones like Edward from the Twilight series, evil Vampire kings and handsome Nordic Vampires like Eric from the True Blood HBO series and now an avalanche of werewolves and shape shifters running rampant in movies, books, TV and on the internet.  Everyone, I think, including myself seems to be spending the dregs of their summer escaping from the daily stress of life into the unknown realms of fantasy. Ahh, doesn’t it feel good?

Vampires don’t get no respect.  Hey, I don’t get no respect.  I can feel for them.

Vampires are angry and they can bite (it’s encouraged).  Hey I’m angry and I can bite.  Just ask the person I chased off my porch yesterday.  Sometimes it feels great to be angry and just not care what anyone thinks.

Shape-shifters can change into new and anonymous things, persons or animals.  I’d like to become something or someone else whenever I feel like it.  As a shape-shifted mountain goat I could climb mountains with ease.  As a shifted cat I could curl up in the sun and sleep most of the day.  As an innocent couch I could spy on everyone! 

Werewolves are strong, can run fast, have strong teeth and hang out with friends.  What could be better?  They don’t have to work or to answer to anyone. 

Sometimes I think we all need a break from the polite world to just spend a day or two letting out some of those repressed feelings we keep hidden.  I try and do just that when I’m alone but, “oops” sometimes it will accidently spill over into my public persona.  I actually hung up on a telemarketer from Amnesty International today. That’s kind of like beating up a nun.  I donate to AI so now I’m positive that I’m totally losing control.  I crave fantasy.  I want to pretend everything is all right.  I want no more phone calls asking me for money or time. I want to watch movies for ten hours at a stretch.  I want to disappear.  I don’t want to face reality.  It’s the end of summer.  I want a long break and some exciting and outrageous fantasy.  I want to play dress up and make mud pies like I did when I was small.  I want to pick and eat so many berries that my whole face is blood red with juice.  Just like a vampire.

(crayon print class canceled…no sign ups)

Just a short post to wish all of you Happy Holidays and thank you all for being part of my life this year.  I’m looking forward to next year and keeping my fingers crossed and my prayer flags flying for the whole country.  Hopefully the economy will begin to come back, we’ll start bringing our troops home from Afghanistan and Iraq, and that all of us will get some form of public and affordable health care.  I am optimistic that this will happen but need all of you to be aware of what needs changing and to be an active part of that change.  We are the force behind this country and we need to get much more creative about our ways of solving problems.  The old politicians in a back room with cigars, pat on the back, closed door type of policy making should be left in the past. (Can you hear me President Obama?) Our elected leaders should answer to us…not to the insurance companies or to the drug companies.  Think of the money we would have to take care of our poor and homeless if we weren’t spending such disgusting amounts on war. The troops would come home, have health care, get jobs and go on with their lives.  I support that.  Ok…my rant is over now on to other things.

Here are Ron and I and Cody in a photo together.  This is a rare occasion.  To get this shot our neighbor and friend Sara Draeger took many many shots, most where one of the three of us was moving.  And it’s true, we haven’t stood still at all this year.  Ron is working on art and driving school bus, I’m working on shows (you can still catch The Darkside Show at the Attic Gallery until January third), teaching at The Dalles Art Center (check out the last post for January class), and teaching a Magical Realism Class in April in Mexico (there is still room in the class for you to sign up).  We are also working around the property getting it ready for  winter.  Ron has done a great job on our new pump house which is now finished until spring. It actually looks better than our cabin.  We should move into it.   We have wood, our animals, and a  giant Costco food supply for survival, although most of the neighbors here think the winter won’t be too hard.  I also will be starting my creativity coaching in January.  Please pass the word on to friends that may feel a need for this type of coaching. I think I’m pretty good at it.  Word of mouth is the best form of advertising. So have as little stress as you can during the rest of the year…life is short.  Spend time with the people you love and don’t waste time on guilt and anger.  In Cody’s words, “Wag more, bark less!” Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. Ours was simple and pretty great. After Ron and I visited my mom at St. Anthony Village, my son, daughter in law, grandson, daughter, Ron and I got together at Amy’s house in Portland. We played with the new kittens for awhile, took pictures and talked. Then we went out to dinner at The Rhinelander. Going out to dinner may sound kind of un-Thanksgiving like to some but we had a traditional dinner along with fondue, sausage and sauerkraut and had lots of time to spend together without cooking or washing dishes. It was nice. It was relaxing and most of us love eating German food. My grandmother used to cook kraut and schnitzel for Thanksgiving so I felt like we were honoring her and my favorite uncle at the same time. My son and his family came down from Seattle on the train. They say it’s the only way to travel. I’m going to have to try the train the next time I visit up there. It sounded comfortable and affordable.

After my last post where I shared with you information about Dr. Pam Wible, a person who I have come to admire, I was pleased and surprised to hear from Dr. Wible herself. Just as I thought… she was kind, informative and totally inspiring. I questioned her more about how her practice is run and found that she works about three days per week and sees an average of eight patients a day. She spends quality time with her patients and gives them the space and courage to question, talk and play a part in their own diagnosis and care. She kindly sent me two sites that some of you might like to visit. The first is a Spirituality and Health article she wrote that got Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama interested in her work and in doing a book on her new direction in medicine. http://www.idealmedicalpractice.org/docs/DreamClinicS&H.pdf The other site is a six minute radio interview from last week http://www.idealmedicalpractice.org/radio_interviews.php I hope you are as impressed by her as I was and will share the article with your own doctor or HMO.

 What always seems to happen as soon as you open yourself to new ideas you find connecting ones all around you. Another article from The Sun popped out at me titled “The Sincerest Form of Flattery…Janine Benyus On the Virtues of Imitating Nature” by David Kupfer. Ms.Benyus is a biologist and science writer of Biomimicry:Innovation Inspired by Nature. I was fascinated as an artist by what she so clearly talks about in the book. As she explains,”Biomimicry is the practice of borrowing nature’s design principles to create more sustainable products and processes. When designers, engineers, architects, chemists, city planners, and so on have a problem to solve, I encourage them to ask, ‘What part of the natural world has already done what I’m trying to do?’” Benyus, as she was writing books and guides about the natural world, began to collect examples of how the natural world and our world can work in rhythm to solve hard problems in our society by watching and listening to nature. For example, if a company wanted to invent a new glue, naturalists and biologists could work with them by studying how geckos stick to walls or how mussels glue themselves to rocks underwater. The wood glue that is used to build most houses emits formaldehyde. With the help of scientists like Benyus, companies like Columbia Forest Products switched to glue that mimics the adhesive mussels use. They make it out of soy flour. Check out more on biomimicry at AskNature.org.

 I was excited to hear that science is doing what artists have done for many years, looking to nature for inspiration. I remember finding a book by accident one day stuck in the very back of a cupboard in my classroom in Multnomah County. It looked as though it hadn’t been touched for years. I dusted it off and looked through it. The title is Nature as Designer: A Botanical Art Study by Bertel Bager. It is a black and white photo book with photos of seed pods, small leftovers of weeds and tiny beautiful natural things. The patterns and designs are fascinating and inspiring. Bager really took time to see pattern and listen to nature while preparing this book. The combination of form and function is perfect. First published in 1966 The book is out of print now as far as I know, but you can find copies floating through Powell’s Used Books from time to time. Wible, Benyus and Bager all have one major thing in common. They listen and observe with great care and concern. They take the time to do this. I hope taking time to become more observant will catch on in our society. We can’t continue to value money over time. To live our lives to the fullest…with the most meaning…we need to slow down and look and listen to nature and to each other. Only then can we find ways to be creative and to solve the big problems that face us. So thanks to these good people who are so innovative and inspiring to others. Pass it on, please. The nature photos in this article are from Nature as Designer:A Botanical Art Study by Bertel Bager.

 I’d like to plug a place in Portland that has been around for awhile. I thought I was cool, but I had no idea this cool place existed until about a year ago. It’s called The Tidal Wave Book Store and it’s run by Multnomah County Library. They sell books, CD’s, magazines and videos that have been retired from the library for one reason or another at really cheap prices. It’s located on NE Knott Street right off of Martin Luther King Boulevard. If you are a book lover you have to go there. You’ll find lots and lots of great books for both children and adults. Amazing!

Remember the opening for my Dark Side Show is on Thursday, December third from six until nine pm. Costumes are encouraged but not necessary if you’re too shy. It’s going to be fun. Also congratulations to Nancy Rooper of The Dalles for her Mt. Hood Christmas Card image being used on the flyer for The Dalles Art Center Holiday Show. Nancy is a student of mine and is developing her talent very quickly.

I just finished reading one of the best articles I’ve ever read on healthcare.  It was in the November issue of The Sun and was written by Jamie Passaro.  Jamie Passaro did an in depth interview with Dr. Pamela Wible from Eugene, Oregon.  I’ve been reading so much and hearing so much about “health care reform” that frankly I’ve been feeling angry, powerless and fed up with the whole subject.  I don’t like how health care is run in this country.  I also think that the way health care is run is reflective of our American culture as a whole.  First let me summarize the article in as few words as I can. The amazing Dr. Wible has dropped out of the “system”.  After working as a family physician in six different clinics in ten years, the thirty six year old was ready to quit.  At those various clinics she had been seeing an average of thirty patients a day.  She felt like she wasn’t meeting the needs of her patients. She was overwhelmed and depressed.  She quit.  She “dropped out”.  After taking a rest for her body and soul, she woke up one morning with a creative vision of how she and some brave other caring doctors could change what they provide for healthcare. She had a creative idea!  All artists and creatives know what it feels like when an idea like that seems to come out of nowhere.  It’s at the oddest moments great ideas come to us.

 Dr. Wible could see that assembly line medicine was a dehumanizing experience.  At some clinics it was even encouraged that doctors compete to see who could end up treating the most people in a day.  There was no time to think, know the patients or even remember their names.  Then Dr. Wible did something that I think is really brave.  She gave up trying to make huge amounts of money from being a doctor.  Set up her own practice where she is the doctor, nurse, secretary and contact for insurance companies.  She has hour long visits with her patients and practices preventative medicine with discussions about diet, exercise, and mental health that is tailored to each patient.  As I read further, I realized that how she treats patients is how we should all treat each other.  Dr. Wible actually takes TIME and LISTENS to her patients.  She interacts with them without looking at her watch or glancing up at the clock on the wall.  Don’t get me wrong.  Yes, she’s a real doctor, she prescribes needed medications, surgeries and other doctor things, but she also looks at patients as special individuals who are unique in their own way.  If only all of us could do this at whatever job we have. 

 I was  happy to read this article, because it gave me a great way to let all of you know that I’ve finished my training and am opening up an on-line practice as a creativity and meaning coach.  As most creative people know there are times they will experience depression and doubts about their artistic or life efforts. All of us want to feel contented  and productive in our life and in our chosen way of expression.  Like Dr. Wible, I don’t think creative people or people in general get enough support from others who have had experience in finding meaning in their own life.   As a creativity and meaning coach I would like to help people who feel depressed, sad or just feel like they’re missing something important in their lives to feel happier and more productive.  I want to help people find their passions and experience what it is to live life  in a creative and positive way.  I’d like to get creatives to feel excited about their individual talents and give them direction to fit those passions into their busy lives.  I want to teach people how to juice up their creative selves, get out of blocked restricted thinking and move on.  I hope to LISTEN to them and guide them to self repair and find true meaning in their lives. 

In addition to having a Master’s Degree in Psychology and working in the arts myself, I have trained with Dr. Eric Maisel in this area. During training I attended to three clients, one writer and two painters. I enjoyed every minute of it.  As we together set up small steps towards learning more rewarding ways to work I learned as much as I taught.   In December I’ll be adding a Creativity and Meaning Coaching category to my website.  I hope you will all pass this information on to your friends or to someone you know who needs this type of coaching and support.  I find joy in what I do whether it is writing, painting, teaching or coaching.  I’d like to share this joy with anyone who needs it.  I’d love to help people see their own potential and know that they have individual gifts to share with the world.  Like Dr. Wible I’ll keep my practice small and give my best to anyone who needs it.  For more information contact me by E-mail at fenter@gorge.net.  Watch for the new creativity coaching section on my site.

“The artist begins with a vision—a creative operation requiring an effort.  Creativity takes courage.”

—-Henri Matisse

I taught an excellent class last weekend.  Our class at The Dalles Art Center made some of the most beautiful and creative holiday cards I’ve ever seen.  Hopefully they will get photos to me of some of their cards so I can post them.  There will be no class in December because of all of the craziness that goes on during the holiday season. 

 To be a part of that craziness, come to the opening of the “Dark Side” show at the Attic Gallery in Portland on December third.  The show opens on First Thursday and costumes are encouraged. Sandy Visse and I will both be there to entertain you.

Touch Me and You Won't Live 'Til Morning

 “It’s not the people who are in prison that worry me. It’s the people who aren’t.” —Arthur Gore

 I have a very strong dark side to my personality. I admit it. I would guess that anyone that says they don’t have a shadow side, dark and somewhat unholy,  is lying to themselves. Religion and philosophy have discussed dark and light, good vs. evil and law vs. lawlessness for centuries. People are usually surprised when I reveal this slithery more secret self. Most of my art that is shown in public is fun, whimsical and humorous. It makes people laugh. I use humor to cover up that darkness that is in me and my fear of the unknown. The “Day of the Dead” is one of my favorite holidays. Death is mocked and not feared but celebrated.

How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child!

  I first recognized this natural part of my personality when I was five. I would sneak under my favorite uncle’s bed and secretly read his True Crime magazines with horror and fascination. I felt some fear. My stomach jumped. Even though the pictures were in black and white, my talented and gifted brain could clearly imagine being right there at the crime scene playing any of the parts, the deceased, the perpetrator or the cop. I loved doing this. I also loved making up scary stories, telling them to and with friends in darkened backyards in the summer, Grimm’s Fairy Tales (the real ones), and flirting with being bad instead of good like the Bible told me to. I’d lay down under the coffee table and pretend I wasn’t breathing (re-enacting a crime scene). Step on a crack you’ll break your mother’s back. I was afraid of the dark but also felt like I was more alive when the unknown lurked in my closet and under my bed. The first movie I ever saw alone was “The Body Snatchers” at the Hollywood Theatre in Portland. When I came out of the movie, ready to walk home, I just knew that everyone I encountered had been snatched and changed and could possibly change me too and I ran as fast as I could to get home. I LOVED it.

Dirty Pretty Thing

As a teenager, my dark side tastes changed. At that age I think its part of the purpose of growing and becoming an adult to have no fear. Teenagers need to be a little fearless to break away from their parents, their protectors. I had no sense of mortality. I would never die. I was a rebel with a cause even though on the outside I was the good girl that my parents hoped I would be. I liked fast cars; I raced trains at railroad crossings, studied dark magic and Edgar Allen Poe. Hell fascinated me. I began to see that good vs. evil is a basic theme of life and art. I read Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness and could understand his struggle with morals and inner darkness. I liked bad boys. I was friends with bad girls. But, mostly I just flirted with this darker world. It held my interest. At age sixteen I found art and drama where I could express unspeakable things without actually doing them.

Fast Car Seaside

  As an adult, I’m still mostly fearless. I still like to drive at a hundred and five, I still like encounters with the darkness, reading and writing true crime, and meeting unusual people.  I crave danger. I’d like to climb high rugged mountains.  I love carnivals, freak shows, the midway and haunted houses. I love to go where I’m not supposed to be. For a long time I worked in juvenile corrections where I encountered the occasional murderer (about seven on the average per year), rapists, crooks and child prostitutes. I learned how to pick locks. I witnessed things so disturbing that I have kept them to myself.  I tried to understand these unusual and unforgettable people. Is it nature or nurture? I still can’t figure it all out. Are there people born without a sense of right and wrong? I would swear that there are. Can some people be changed for the better? I hope they can. But who really knows? So I’ll keep searching for answers. I’ll continue to watch Law and Order more than I go to Sunday Mass, my true crime library will keep growing until it overflows and I’ll keep that adrenaline pumping. You’ll see darkness in my art, all over the walls of the Attic Gallery in December. Some of the paintings shown in this post are from that upcoming show. Pick a dark character, dress up and come to the opening!  Drive fast. Take Chances. “Northwest of Normal…the Darkside of Jerry Fenter and Sandy Visse”.  Break the rules.  Scare yourself.

Your Own Risk

 

Dying

Is an art, like everything else.

 I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like Hell.

 I do it so it feels real. 

I guess you could say I have a call.

                                                   —Sylvia Plath  from her poem Lady Lazarus